My story - why I became a celebrant Part 3

My husband was doing so well; he looked healthy, he felt great, and we had started to go out again and spend time together, even attending a friend's wedding reception, but just a few short weeks later, at the end of July, he began to feel unwell.

He had flu-like symptoms, and his stomach had begun to swell. He was admitted to St Barts in London, where he was told that he had fluid in his stomach, but we were assured that it was just a side effect of the treatment and that it would go once he had his next cycle.

He was admitted, and the next day, he had six litres of fluid drained from his stomach, too much, too quickly and his kidneys began to fail.

He was removed from the clinical trial and moved to a private hospital to begin new treatment and get his kidneys working again. He made great improvements and was in great spirits, preparing to come home and get strong again.

During this period, he encouraged me to enrol on the master celebrant course with the provider that I had chosen.

Weddings, naming ceremonies and funerals. I wasn't so fussed about the funeral course; I thought he would be good to have, but I had no intention of conducting funeral ceremonies, as I didn't think I could handle it.

I would take my iPad into the hospital to work on the weddings course, while he watched TV. It worked well, and he was improving. He was due to come home towards the end of August, and so we made preparations at home so that he would be comfortable. The day before he was due to come home, he was showing signs of an infection, but he wasn't convinced and thought the nurses were overreacting. His doctor had him admitted to the ICU.

He had 3 infections, one of which was in his lungs and a blood clot in his right lung.

It was not looking good, and he ended up on life support, but my husband was a fighter, and he came through it after 3 weeks and was then taken back to his room, where again we made preparations for him to come home.

He came home on the 23rd of October, and by this point, we knew he didn't have long left. What we hadn't anticipated was just how little time he had..... My husband passed away on the 27th of October 2024

I cannot say more about this period, as it is still too much to think about, but what I will say is that the care, love and support that I received not only from family and friends but also from the funeral arranger, the funeral celebrant and every supplier that I came into contact with gave me such great comfort, that they inspired me to continue with my celebrant journey once i was ready.

The funeral arranger, Gemma, at Constable and Toop in Belvedere was outstanding, and because of her care and attention, I came to realise that I wanted to be there, in the same way, for those facing the reality of grief just as I was. I wanted to not only share in the joy of a couple's marriage or the happiness of a child's naming ceremony but to offer comfort and support to those facing the worst time in their lives.

And in the short year that has passed since my husband had to leave, I have become a trained celebrant for weddings and naming ceremonies and have begun to train for funerals. I am taking my time with it and not rushing.

I know he was, and is, so proud of our children and me for the way we have taken on the challenges we have faced since his passing, and we are so proud of him for fighting so hard to stay with us, right till the very end.

So that is my "why". Why I have chosen to become a celebrant, I hope that I can bring as much comfort to those in need as I have received and bring smiles to the faces of couples marrying.

Thank you for taking the time to read these blogs xx